I voted for TTOW so I'll definitely be backing you! I had a look at the Kickstarter & I like that there's lots of screenshots, you mention the different MC personalities & the character bios look pretty. 

Some feedback:

-I think your backer rewards are good ideas (the love letters, copies of your previous games, beta access, designing an outfit, creating a character, creating a scene, etc). Another idea would be a short playable scene/scenario in between the first game & the sequel, since a lot happens in that time. It could be in the game itself, as DLC, or even a text game using Twine or Choicescript. You could also add the option to buy them as DLC when the game is released for anyone that didn't back the Kickstarter. It might be too late now to suggest something extra & I'm not sure if it would take too much time away from the main game, although it's something that'd only have to be done after the Kickstarter is finished, but I just wanted to throw it out there just in case. I think anything capitalising on the ROs in general will be popular.

-It might be a good idea to get someone who isn't familiar with either game to have a look over the Kickstarter draft. Everyone on this page has probably played TROS & is already planning to buy TTOW, which makes us a bit biased and we probably don't require as much info as someone brand new who comes across your Kickstarter.

-I think it'd be helpful to make it clearer that this is a sequel to TROS, an already published game. I know you mention it in the demo section (with a link to the itchio page), but it's a bit too easy to gloss over. You might also want to add the Steam page for TROS too.

-If you're worried about the tiers & rewards being confusing, I've seen other Kickstarters provide a breakdown grid diagram to show which rewards are available in which tiers, and I think that makes it as clear as possible. There's an example of this on this current VN Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/lunarisgames/errant-kingdom

-Unless I've missed it, I think it'd be a good idea to provide links to your game dev social media accounts & a clear link to your itchio store page so people can browse your previous games.

-Make sure there aren't too many early bird backer spaces. I'm not an expert on this so I'm not sure what the right proportion should be, but most people who will back a game will pick whatever the cheapest tier is that includes the base game. So take into account how many of that tier you need to sell when deciding the number of early bird spaces.

-Other people have already mentioned that a trailer would be ideal (like the one on the TROS Steam page), and if you're releasing on Steam then you'd need to make one eventually right? If that's not possible, or in addition to this, it would be cool to include some GIFs in the campaign page, to show the gameplay (making choices, sprites changing expressions, etc).

-Mini bios of yourself & anyone else who works on the game (I think there's a separate artist?), your role in making the game, how long you've been making games, your background, any fun/silly facts about yourself, etc. may help people to see the person behind the Kickstarter.

At this stage I assume that the retail price of the game will be changed to 20 pound stirling at initial release.  This may have already been pointed out, however the early bird tier still lists that the retail price of the game will be 11.99 pound stirling.  If people think that the early bird and game only tiers costs more than the retail release they may be confused and not back the kickstarter at these tiers. 

The rewards look really great. I know if I (being and artist and writer) had the money I'd love some of the higher tier rewards that allow you to have input in the game. I imagine some with the money will also love that. The lower tier rewards are nice too. I think your choices are well thought out and will make this kickstarter very successful.

Strange... *refreshes Kickstarter draft repeatedly* I can't seem to find the 'SOFIA LOVER DELUXE' tier. ;P

Jokes aside(but I'm Serious), I do agree with a lot of the other commenters on having those individual tiers devoted to Specific LIs. I know you're worried about having too many/scrolling forEVA - put looking at the draft, your current tiers stop far Above where your Overview, Character profiles, Demo links - etc., end. So, while I can only speak for myself, it certainly wouldn't be an Eyesore. While certainly great to have that general love letters tier (3 and then ALL) -- why not capitalize on RoS Veterans who are willing to lay down Bank for all the [Insert LI here] moments they can get? Naturally, these can be medium to high tiers where you get more and more content. Or - (if it really bothers you) you could even have it as a Single high 'Par Amour' tier where you get XYZ content for one LI of Backer's Choice.

As for games Deets: I tried to read it like I had No Idea what this was.  Especially Love that you Highlighted the MC's customizable Personality. I think that's one of your Highest Selling Points with this series - and why Many Absolutely Adore the MC - and newcomers and veterans alike need to know this (Continued) Awesome. Another thing that makes me Super Excited (and I think is just Novel - bum dum tss - for visual novels in general) -- you've Clearly Alluded to House vs. Relationship dynamic; i.e. repercussions on romance if you neglect for Status. So REAL - Ah! <3 I mentioned it in private correspondence, but that Tension between Family and Lover is one of the things I'm looking forward to *MOST*. And - WOW. The thought of *SIX* Possible CGs per route -- I'LL DO MY BESTEST, GUY

I have to be honest: I didn't really see the difference(besides discount price?) between the 'Early Bird' tier and the 'Enough is as Good...' tier. I feel like you should just combine them and have the tier pledge at 20 pounds+ since, as many mentioned, this game is WORTH at least $20+. I appreciate you wanting to make it accessible, but WE also want to pay Everyone who's worked on this Future Masterpiece in the making their DUE.

Typos I Caught:

'With a cast of nineteen named characters, and an estimated length of 400,000 words, each route will be its own story with its own goals and opportunities - an its own dangers. ' 'an' should be 'and'

In Charlotte's 'Cast' profile, last paragraph - is 'reverses' supposed to be 'reserves'?

'*Though unlikely, we reserve the right to refund these rewards if an outcome which is not satisfactory to both parties can be reached.' 'can't'?

The King's Grace tier: 'acknowledged' instead of 'acknowledge'

Budding Playwright: 'Please the 'Rewards' section for more details., is missing 'see'.(Speaking of)THIS. OH. MAI. BETTY BOOP - YESPLEASELETMEDOTHETHING You have Hit me RIGHT in my Writer FEELZ with this one. GUESS WE'RE DOING THE HIGHEST TIER - JUST CALL ME SUGA MAMA *takes out checkbook(then throws it away - because who EVEN still uses??)* I am SO EXCITED this is a Reward!!!

One thing I'm confused on, though since I'm new to Kickstarter: Your tiers have [amount] or more for all of them - so, if I do the $250/Highest tier, do I get All Rewards? Or do I have to pay extra for different tier offerings I'm Interested in - Like 'Change in Perspective' or 'NPC', for example. How does that work?

I'm probably going to end up writing a lot, as always. So I'll split this into two comments. This one's solely about the reward tiers!

I agree that some of your tiers could definitely use a price boost, and that the cost of the game in general could be higher as well. It has twice the amount of words as Heaven's Grave! Please do consider it, even if it's just boosting the price up to $17/£13.5. Anything up to $20 would be quite fair, I think, for ~20 hours of gameplay and generously un-gated bonus content.

I also think you'd be justified for charging a little extra for the "fan disc" content, but it seems like you've already thought that one out and decided against it. You could still consider including the extra content for all backers, then releasing it as paid DLC or part of a "special edition" for non-backers post-release.

Remember, you're not being greedy, you're doing your best to raise money so you don't let down your fans. We want you to succeed! Being good to the people who love your games means trying to raise as much as you can, to make the best product you can.

I wrote a list of suggested tiers/prices below, rather than listing all the minor changes. Assume all of them include the tiers' perks unless it says otherwise!

SUGGESTED TIERS/PRICES:

1.  £2 Thank you/backer updates/name in credits
2. £6 Wallpapers
3. £7 Copy of TRoS (+thank you/updates/name in credits, no wallpapers)
4. £10/11.5 Thorns of War Early Bird
5. £12/13.5 Thorns of War
6. £19/20.5 Thorns of War + TRoS Bundle
7. £25 Three love letters
8. £30 All love letters
9. £45? Blackcross & Taylor Bundle Pack (A copy of Heaven's Grave, Thorns of War, TRoS, and The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, plus all previous perks. Not to be included with higher tiers.)
10. £60 Beta access 
11. £80 Choose a POV scene (Thorns/Rose) 
12. £120 Fashionista (only one NPC outfit, not two!)
13. £130 Lady's Maid (She's the main character, so changing her outfit feels more special!)
14. £160 Join the Cast
15. £200 Budding Playwright

I'm repeating myself from another comment, but TRoS should have a low tier at the game's regular price, so anyone who just wants to try the series for the first time can, without a major financial commitment.

Instead of automatically including a copy of TRoS in every tier above it, have the option to "add" a copy by pledging the combined cost of the two tiers (e.g. pledge £30 for the love letters + £7 for TRoS = £37).

Some people who already own TRoS won't want a second copy. Having it as an "add-on" stops backers from feeling like they're paying for a key they won't use, gives you less work mailing out superfluous keys, and means that anyone who wants a copy at a higher tier can still get it. That said, I suggested a tier that bundles both TRoS and ToW to make it easy for the many people who will likely want to get that option.

Have a step-by-step FAQ about how to add TRoS to your tier, and mention it in the description of the TRoS tier (e.g. "a key for The Rose of Segunda can be added to any tier. Check the FAQ!") Once the Kickstarter is over, ask the backers to mention if they added a copy to their tier in the backer survey.

I recommended Tier 9 (a bundle of all your games) because it would be easy to fulfill and provide immediate backer satisfaction. They'll be getting three awesome games right away! It also advertises how you've made lots of games before, and it could provide extra exposure and reviews for Heaven's Grave. You can include a sentence or two about each game in the FAQ with links to their Itch/Steam pages, too.

For the Fashionista and Lady's Maid tiers, I was a bit confused as to when the outfit would appear in-game, and whether this included love interests. Will you write a scenario around the outfit to include it in the game? Or does it appear in bonus art?

For the POV scenes, it says "first come, first served," but you'd have to somehow make it obvious to anyone considering the tier which characters are still available, which could change over the course of the campaign as people swap tiers. Even if you try to do it in order of who backed first, I'm not sure Kickstarter provides you with the tools to keep track.

I'm not sure what the best solution would be. Personally, I think it could be fun, if a bit messy, to have separate tiers for all the characters. Limited to one each. So someone would buy the "Charlotte: Thorns of War" tier if they want to choose her scene. It would put pressure on backers to quickly snatch the tier of their favourite characters, plus it'll be fun for everyone to see which tiers get taken, dropped, switched around, etc.

At its current price, I'll be getting the Epistolary Romance tier because I know I'll desperately want all the letters when the game is released. £30 ($50 in my currency) is about as high as I can go on my current budget. I totally understand if you want to raise the cost of it, but I'd probably drop back down to the game-only tier if that happened. I'm not sure if this would hold true for other backers as well, but I thought it might be helpful for you to know!

Not to argue with anyone but I've backed a lot of otome games, I also looked at the campaigns for even more otome games. The number of tiers for successful campaigns tends to be 8 to 20 (some even went up to 30 omg) so do what you want in terms of tier numbers. Something I've seen almost universally in game Kickstarters is a limited number (often about 100 or so) of lower priced "early bird" priced tiers that are a dollar or so less than the regular that will be available when the early bird runs out. I wouldn't make the early-bird price lower than the currently listed price though (you can go higher but I really don't think you should go lower). I've never seen a game kickstarter offer the game for less than $15 USD and that was for the limited discounted ones $15-25 or so seems a good price but up to you.

Edit: I would keep the one dollar pledge but those usually have no rewards.

Um so. I wrote some things that might come out harsh if read with the wrong kind of tone so please try to employ a happy, teasing, concerned kind of tone over the whole thing...

Price for the game is WAY too low! I'd suggest going for at least 20 pounds if not more, some people will only buy on sale. A kickstarter is for making sure a game gets made, not doing discounted pre-sales.

The benefits given are too much for such small increments.  The lowest tier should be 4 pounds and it should only be a thank you and a wallpaper. The next highest should be at least 8 for a thank you and three wallpapers. Double again for all 8.

Also increase that Enough is as Good as a Feast tier. If you're giving all of those perks it needs to be more. The all 8 wall paper tier is 8, the game is 10 and the game plus all 8 wallpapers is 12?

Take another look at your prices, you deserve to be paid for you time.  If you got hired to flip burgers would you be making more or less than the amount of time you spend working on these things? If it's less, espeically if it's half as much,  you should be taking a hard look at why. I buy things from Etsy a lot and some people are clearly not selling at a profit; if you aren't making enough to cover your costs and some you might not be able to make another game. What if there's an unexpected issue? What if you need to hire someone else? 

Just consider carefully! It's really hard for most people to put a value on their time, be kind to yourself, consider if someone was hiring you to write something as long as this VN how much would you ask for?

Only 1000 pounds for 8 CG's? Seems low. - Also only 1000 pounds for custom music? Have you done a bunch of research on the cost for that? 

Add notes about the number of revisions or a set deadline for designing a character/scene/outfit. Some people will nitpick things into eternity and beyond.

And on to little nit picking...

Charlottes profile:
Not entirely sure what the last paragraph of her profile is supposed to mean. I can't decide if it meants that she is less worried about herself than she is for her brother, changing her personality to try to change her brother, or something else entirely.

Frederiques profile:
Enroll at university

Guillaumes profile:
You used nor, I'm pretty sure it's only supposed to be used if neither is used before it. I think it should just be a plain old or.

Mathys profile:
Is it supposed to be "does he hope a war will spark need of his skills once more..." or should it be "does he hope a war will spark the need of his skills once more..." ? or..?

Typo: rewards
All those backers... recognition int he credits.

This is a long advice post.  Please do not be offended.  I know you've done this before, but I see some mistakes and this advice comes from my heart with the best of intentions.  I've raised $50,000 in a Kickstarter before and have made over $100,000 a year on Steam, so I really know what I'm talking about.  

I think your game is under-priced.  You're giving players a lot of content.  If Y Press Games was putting out a game with 8 love interests and 400k words it would be $24.99. 

I think, at the very least, you should up the price to $14.99-$16.99.  We've tested the $9.99 price point vs. the $19.99 price point and the $19.99 game sold more because the price indicated how much more value the player was getting.  You're selling yourself short!

Anyone who is put off by a higher price will add the game to their wishlist on Steam and buy it when you put it on sale.  So, you're not losing an sales by a higher price. You going to work incredibly hard on this and deserve to make a decent amount of money from game sales.    

Your giving a lot of bargain perks on your Kickstarter and it's really nice of you, but not conducive to raising a lot of money for your project.  

If Perk A is £1, Perk B is £2, Perk C is £4, Perk D is £6, and Perk E is £8 then the perk where you actually get the game should be £15 or higher and you should not offer a 'bare bones' option.  This is fund-raising, not a chance for them to get a steal.  

Re: Perk A for £1.  You're charging too little for a chance to be in the credits.  You and I both know what a huge pain in the butt it is to make the credits page in Ren'Py.  Backers don't turn in their surveys and then get mad at you for not putting their names in anyway.  £1 is too little for the privilege you're giving and the hassle you'll potentially have.  It should be $5 minimum.  I don't know what that is in £, but please increase it for this perk.

There was an experiment where someone sold Hershey Kisses for $.01 and Lindt Chocolate Truffles for $.16.  Most people bought the truffles.  Then they reduced both prices by $.01.  The Hershey Kisses were free and the Truffles were $.15.  Now no one bought the truffles and everyone took the free kisses.  Once someone is paying for something they are more inclined to spend more for more value than if you're giving away something for free.  People coming to your Kickstarter are ready and expecting to spend.  $5 is not much for a name in the credits.  If they'll pay 1 pound then they'll pay $5, and you need every pence because the odds are most that Kickstarters fail.

You have way too many little perks before you get the game.  A Kickstarter should have around 6 perks in total.  Studies show that more than 6 options overwhelms people.  At most you should have 2 perks before you hit the game perk:
£3.50 - Name in credits and backer only posts 
£8 - All those little perks in one bundle
£15 - All prior perks and the game.  It's a £19 value because those little perks cost £8.   If you raise the price like I suggested then this perk should be £20.

Beta Access to the game should be £50 at the very least.  We sold beta access for $100 and had 40 backers.  That's $4000!  We were able to had dozens more images in the final game, more songs, more story threads.  Everyone won!  Beta Access is a HUGE perk.  They're getting access to the game months before everyone else.  It shouldn't be this cheap.

The love letters are a great idea.  Backers will want to collect them all--so don't give them all in one or two perks.  Have one with the game perk, one with the beta perk, and one with a higher perk.  People don't like incomplete sets.  It will encourage them to pledge higher tiers!

I have never seen pledges where people can control parts of the game go for so cheap.  They should be over $100.  These are exclusive perks that effect the game for everyone.

Last, you should offer a digital art book and the sound track if you have the rights to sell it.  The next perk after the game should be the Little Rewards + Game + Art Book + Sound Track + Love Letter and this should be for £30 if the Little Rewards + Game is £15.  NEXT:  When you launch, offer 50 of these perks as your early bird reward and take £5-9 off.  People who would only get the game perk normally will spring for more because they want to be an early bird.  When you sell out the 50 perks add another 50.  You lose nothing, and will gain more money for the campaign.

Around 75% to 95% of your backers are going to only get the perk with the game.  That means you'll need around 600 backers to hit your goal.  Very few otomes have that many backers.  Most have 180-300.   You need to maximize what you can get from every backer or you won't be funded.

Crowdfunding is HARD.  It's SO HARD.  Barely any campaigns make it to their goal, no matter how modest that goal is.  You have to be very cunning.  It's not because you're trying to rip people off, it's because if you don't make 100% of your goal your Kickstarter will fail and you can't make the game at all!  And most Kickstarters fail!  Please take some of my advice so you can not only make your goal, but hit lots of stretch goals and enrich the game even more.

And again--I'm not trying to step on your toes.  I wish someone had sat down with me and given me this advice on my 2nd Kickstarter.  It's so hard to succeed I needed all the help I could get. 

The rewards all seemed very, well, for lack of a better word, very rewarding!  I think I know which tier I want so now I just have to count down the days until it's live!  Thanks for giving me something to look forward to, though I'm sorry BFF didn't get as many votes, I think you said it was your first project so i know it must be near and dear to your heart.

Please think long and hard about doing 'Backer only' updates at all, especially during the campaign.  I absolutely refuse to back a kickstarter that has any 'backer only' updates during the pledge drive.  Personally I would take that reward option out of all the tiers.   A limited 'early bird' reduced cost digital copy of the game only, as someone else suggested, is a really good idea to get a burst of funds at the beginning.

Kickstarter games have become quite a gamble for backers with little to no recourse if things go wrong, even after a successful campaign.  I believe transparency is really important.  Since you will have a commercial release of the game your kickstarter page, even years after the completion of funding and delivery, becomes a form of information for anyone researching whether to buy your game.  Information needs to be accessible.

Sorry if I sound harsh I've just seen so many kickstarter otomes and vn's flounder even after initial success.  Also kickstarter has engaged in some union busting behaviour recently with some of its employees which has put a lot of people off supporting the company and made it even more difficult for the achievement of funding goals.

Anyway, Good luck and I really hope this works out as 'The Rose of Segunda' has become one of my favourite otome/vn's and I would love to play its sequel. 

Ahh, so exciting! I've got an appointment to run to so I can't give in-depth thoughts for now, but a few brief things I noticed right away:

You don't need to put the approximate cost of each tier in dollars! Kickstarter shows you that automatically in your local currency when you click to pledge.

You need a trailer. IIRC, the difference in success rates for projects that include one and projects that don't is significant.

Backer-only updates should be available to everyone who backs, not as a special tier! Combine the thank you/backer update tier.

Love the Lady's Maid tier, that's so cute!

Make a tier that has both The Rose of Segunda AND a copy of the sequel! People are going to want to get both in one go, especially if they're new to the series.

Make an early bird tier for the game (e.g. the first 100 backers get it for ten pounds, the rest for the full cost of the game). Both tiers should come with all previous rewards, which helps backers justify paying the game's full price for that tier. The early bird tier encourages people to back the game early rather than wait until the last minute to see if it's already been backed, which is important because people are more likely to back a Kickstarter that's already made a decent amount of money because it looks more likely to succeed.

More thoughts later! Congrats on putting this together and I hope it's successful!